So, turns out – no triplets. Classic.

At least this time I didn’t seem totalled by the entire experience. Just my standard, “Once again I’m not pregnant” moping around. None of this “I really thought this time was it” bullshit that breaks my heart.

Upsides include getting an OBGYN. Now I have that interim person to do any of the procedure things PCRM needs, i.e. the HSG I will be going for this month hopefully, and watch over me once I become pregnant. This was the first meeting where I was face-to-face with someone discussing my infertility without bawling my eyes out. I’m here now, these are the steps, this is what we’ve done, these are our options, this is where you are in our journey, and this is what I want from you. At this point it’s been repeated so many times I was able to detach and deal with just the facts. Apparently the HSG will be extremely helpful. It will show the shape of my uterus, if there are any blockages and may even help clear the path if the blockages are minor. It is apparently a very viscous substance that will help the X-ray get a dyed scan and cause me extreme pain and discomfort that I will have to talk myself through and convince myself that it was all for the massive amount of information I will receive. Sounds fabulous.

I also, in what may seem like a surprise….insert eye roll…will have to go for more blood work!

I will be starting my third and likely final round of Clomid this month. It would appear the stars are aligning in that if this month doesn’t work, hopefully my clinic will have enough information that we can move forward with a more effective plan. I am still only taking 50 mg and will be taking them on days 3-7. My OBGYN says theres not much behind the days but whichever I prefer is fine.

On the upside, I get to use my stupid ClearBlue OPK computer thingy this month. I was honestly hoping to return the damn thing, but that is not the case.

My only reprieve is the half-marathon I’ve sign up for which is causing me great concern and will require me to begin running immediately. This month will be filled with wonderfully long runs and blissful yoga. Meditation, smoothies and reading books.

My mental health is weary and I need a break.